Recently, a beautiful girl at my school committed suicide. I do not want to disclose the means by which it happened as to remain respectful to her and her family but I wanted to discuss how I feel about the whole situation. A part of me believes that this is selfish, to publicly share what I think and feel about a girl’s death, but I think that it is better for me to share than to keep everything to myself and I think that maybe someone going through something similar will stumble across this and understand.
First of all, I am sad. Though I barely knew her, she was a human life. The subject of her death is more than sad and leaves a sickening pit in the bottom of my stomach because it is almost impossible for me to think that someone could feel so alone.
Second of all, everyone who gets mad because those who didn’t know her get on my nerves. They want some form of ownership over her death that sickens me to the point of anger. Everyone has the right to be sad because, not only was it the loss of a human life, but almost everyone can connect her death to someone close to them that is suffering or suffered.
Finally, I’m proud of the way my school handled it. They aren’t making a big show of it, yet they are still paying their respects. Since the incident occurred on campus, there is a small memorial where it happened and most days students are leaving little presents for her and her family. The school also hosted two candlelight vigils with huge turnouts to show the magnificent impact that this student had on the school.
I have since been inspired by who she was when she was living and have written a poem about her. I don’t feel it is right to release it just yet, maybe in a month or two, but when I do release it I plan on selling it and sending the proceeds to a charity for Suicide Awareness (if you guys want to link some of your favorites below, be my guest).
Around the time that this student died, it had been a year since the passing of one of my best friends. Needless to say it has been a very difficult week for everyone involved. From this certain sadness, however, stems knowledge and beauty. More people’s eyes were opened to the idea of mental illness and the role that it plays in everyday life. At the same time, high schoolers are learning about empathy and the ability to put yourself into someone else’s shoes. I’m not trying to say that I am glad that these death’s occurred, just trying to find a positive spin, I suppose.
I do apologize for not being active as much as I had planned but I promise you will be seeing more of me, starting with a quick update on what’s been happening in my life aside from these recent events. Thank you all for your understanding.
Now back to your regularly scheduled program.