My personal problem


I have always been an obsessive person, but not in the obsessed, serial killer kind of way.

I’m just a perfectionist. I like to know that I gave my all and that my best was the best. It’s a habit I picked up in school. I was always able to rely on my grades and my success as a means to be an individual. I know it sounds weird, but that’s just how I felt.

Recently I was able to take a step back and kind of go over everything that I have done in my past four weeks while attending a university for my first time; and I realized that I never really get to see the light of day. I’m either in class, at work, or cooped up in the library.

I go to my school because the university awarded me an academic scholarship. Now, if I didn’t put too much pressure on myself before, I definitely do now. I don’t know why but to me there is a vast difference between a 96% and a 94%.

Because of this great stress that I have placed on my own shoulders, I have not truly been able to enjoy college. Luckily, I have found some great friends who are able to pry my paper-white fingers away from the keyboard long enough to eat lunch as I am hunched over my notebook, studying the “cheat notes” I write on post-it notes within my color-coordinated notes as a means to summarize my sloppy handwriting. But they understand.

There are some people, however, that take my hermit-like nature to heart and I never want to hurt anyone because of these habits. I never want anyone to think that I don’t like them simply because my nose is always buried in my book or laptop.

If you are one of those people, please just understand that this is my future. I am currently working toward what I have dreamed of ever since I was a little girl. I can assure you that it is nothing personal. Tell me that you would like to hang out, watch me struggle for a second to switch from psychological vocab lists to actual English, and then I promise I will make time, it just might be in a week or two.

For those of you who have stuck with me, all my quirks included, thank you. Thank you for understanding, or if you don’t, thank you for keeping it to yourself and continuing to try.

So what are some of your quirky habits that you don’t necessarily need to kick to the curb but you might want to work on? Tell me in the comments below!

Stay strong. Stay beautiful.

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