Happiness is more than the perfect mix of neurochemicals and it can’t be found in paper currency or shallow relationships. Happiness is worth more than gold or an all-expense paid trip across the world. No matter the truth those two statements hold, happiness is not more than any one person because each individual is in charge of their’s.
In the short amount of time that I have been on this Earth, I have seen how much influence the power happiness — or a lack thereof — holds over most of the human species. I’ve seen people search for happiness in alcohol and drugs, others let their ambition and greed run rampant, and some attach themselves to others.
What I have learned is not the secret to life, but the secret to happiness:
Believe me, I — better than anyone — know how much more difficult that is to do rather than to simply say. I care more than anyone in the world should and about the most miniscule things. I care about other people’s problems almost as much as my own. I care about whether my friends are sleeping well, if someone is looking at me, and almost more than anything I care about my future.
It’s nice to care. It’s nice to be compassionate. But when your caring becomes worry and your worry becomes stress it becomes unhealthy, you become unhealthy and you become unhappy.
I did not learn this lesson easily. Sacrifices were made, feelings were hurt, and hearts were torn, but I do not regret the actions that led me to where I am today. I have found the true source of happiness in myself, not through others, not through dreaming of a better future, and certainly not through harmful substances.
It’s hard to simply stop caring, but when you’re hurt it seems much easier than it should be. I hate to say it but betrayal is the best path to happiness. You learn so much more when you are forced to look down toward the situation from the top of the mountain of objective observation.
This is not the piece I planned on posting, this is not all that I wanted to say. Friendships have been tarnished and connections will never be the same. I have another piece that I was asked not to publish and I will not go against their wishes at the present time. I do plan on posting the piece later on, but at the moment it is not the right time.
This choice does not make me happy. Sometimes the right thing to do is not the easiest, but it is the best for everyone in that moment.